Image by CameliaTWU via Flickr
April 2, 2011
I want to worry about whether Tokyo Electric succeeds in halting the radiation leak from their cracked reactor by pouring concrete into the pit underneath it. I really do. I long to linger over the possibility that in helping the Libyan rebels, we may actually be aiding a member or two of al Qaeda that have crept in among them. Honestly, I do. I even hunger to feel horror that an angry Afghan mob, stirred by the Taliban, murdered seven UN workers because some fool in Florida who calls himself a Christian finally made good on his threat to burn a Koran. I wish I could find the will for all of these emotions, as I did this past week while socked in by four or five days of chill and rain.
I can’t. Not today. I did manage enough shame this morning to do the pile of dishes I’d left in the sink. I managed something akin to anger at a stupid mouse who doesn’t yet know it’s spring and that it should be outside rather than inside on a day like this, a mouse that has a preference for the tops of the herbs I wanted to transplant in a couple of weeks instead of the peanut butter in the trap I set for it. I even managed a sort of smug, pseudo empathy for my friends in the northeast, upon whom Mother Nature dropped one last snowstorm yesterday. I am so sorry that I could muster nothing stronger.
Perhaps on Monday, when it will again be rainy and cold, I can take on the worries of the world once more – but not today.
Today, sun, soil and a warm southern breeze call and I succumb. Today I take up the long handled hoe and go forth into the back yard to challenge, cheerfully, the henbit and creeping Charlie on behalf of peas, spinach and carrots everywhere. Today, by the time you come to the blog for a sage serving of doomer rant, you will not find me. Today – with no apologies –I have gone gardening.
The Conflicted Doomer 
this post really speaks to my soul! Thank you CD. Beautifully written, just what I needed. 😀
Hi Pam, there is almost a spiritual aspect to gardening, isn’t there? Even when you fail, you learn something important for next time.
Thank you for cheering me up. I am an inside girl always speaking to Computer, Schizophrenic girl who doesn’t know where she really belongs and I live in Japan. Not so far away from the necler… Ah Anyways, I loved this article I will promise to read every one of your post from today. 21:11 pm Japan…. 4th of April. Lots of Love.
Thank you. I certainly hope you’re safe, there. And I hope you have a chance to get outside and grow something. Do come back and let us know how you are doing.
I was only watching the film called ” Zeitgeist Moving Forward ” and then I found your blog. Bizzare. Thank you again. .
Thank you for relieving me of the guilt an anger I should be feeling these days. I broke out the short-handled “witch” hoe, rake, and two shovels over a month ago. Three zucchini plants are growing and unidentified seedlings are struggling for life. It’s almost time to thin eggplant. Tomorrow the pepper patch gets more work – and maybe seeds. Gardening may be hard work but you can’t get to harvest without it.
LOL, Judy, you’re welcome. Everyone needs a day off from doom. Otherwise we lose our empathy. I got the porch garden planted – peas, lettuce, spinach, beets, carrots, radishes and onions. Tomorrow I tackle the back yard.
Happy gardening. Let me know how the egg plant goes. I’ve never tried to grow it.